ROLEPLAY OR DIE!

ROLEPLAY OR DIE!
One frustrated DM's manifesto.

No Munchkins, No Power Gamers, No MinMaxers, No PC Mechanics, No Rules Lawyers, Roleplay or Die!

There is only enough room in my game for one manipulator, that's me. You want to manipulate people into doing your will and dying for you, run your own game. If you are here to try and make your own agenda, don't sit at my table. If you are here to attempt to trip me up on the rules, don't sit at my table. If you here to try and start your own magic item collection, don't sit at my table. If you think I'm being unfair, remember that this is my game and I set the rules, if you don't like, don't sit at my table. The rules are guidelines, not set in stone, go get your law degree somewhere else, don't sit at my table. If your idea of a good time is to try and monopolize the DM's time because you're a whiney, needy, little pansy, don't sit at my table. If you think being a DM is easy and I should just roll with every ridiculous request because I am supposed to cater to you, think again. I do this because I want to, not because you want me to, or think I should. Try it sometime, and then come talk to me. If you think Chaotic Neutral is an excuse to do whatever you want, don't sit at my table. Don't try the excuse "I'm a free spirit" either, I ain't buyin it anymore. I am not here to mother you, I am not here to wipe your nose, I am not here to give over treasure and experience just because you want it. I am here to challenge you. I am not here to entertain you, this is a group effort, Roleplay or Die! If you find my game boring, try contributing to it instead of knocking it. Roleplay or Die! Sitting in the back of the party, using the excuse "I'm a support character", and being an experience sponge, won't fly with me anymore, don't even think for a second I don't know what you're doing, and oh yeah, don't sit at my table. Roleplay or Die! If you want to tell a story, start your own game. Don't sit at my table and try and hijack my game to tell your story. If you want a dungeon crawl, go play Neverwinter Nights, don't sit at my table. Roleplay or Die! If you want the rewards of a high level character, earn it, don't just expect it. You had better be able to give me a really convincing reason for you character concept, not just because you wanted that particular class ability, No level dipping. Roleplay or Die! Because it's cool, is not good enough anymore. Your idea of a "cool" character, makes no sense to me. If you want to play a Paladin, play a paladin, not a cleric/fighter. Roleplay or Die! Do try and remember you become the character, the character is not you. Don’t be Bob as a dwarf, be Dragos the Dwarven warrior! Roleplay or Die! This is not a competition, it is not a game you can win. Roleplay or Die! Trying to put one over on the DM, just proves how much you don’t get it. The system may steer you towards a Hack n Slash game, but only you can change that mindset, if you don’t choose to, don’t sit at my table. Roleplay or Die!